Be Perfect Later. Be Present Now.

by Trinity S. Thomas on May 11, 2011

 

 

 

 

Be present now, be perfect later

 

 

 

I am enough. I have loved, noticed, answered, cared, accomplished, enough. Will those assertions ever feel completely true?

A revolution is brewing inside me. I know I am enough, in all those ways. But I don’t feeeelllll like I am. So I try to be perfect. To do every little part of every little thing to the best degree I can imagine, and then check it again and again and make it better and it’s never enough. I feel exhausted. Discouraged that I can’t get ‘it’ all done, like, EVER. I keep striving. I sense a whiff of hopelessness.

I was inquiring of my guidance about this topic recently, and distinctly heard, Inner Oracle Style (see www.inneroracle.com, Inner Oracle tab), “Be Perfect Later – Be Present Now.”

Being me, I pondered this. For a while. At first it made no sense. A LOL is appropriate here. Of course it didn’t. I was too busy believing I could be perfect at, anything, or everything. As if there were really any such thing as ‘perfect’ anyway. Who judges that? Is there a panel? Is it God? When do we get the printout? Can we check it online like lottery tickets? To see if we won? What do we get if we do?

And why is that, illusion that it surely is, even a goal? I suspect it’s part of the desire to control, to prove, to be right. And then what? Can I take a day off, get some sleep, and not make a list for 24 hours? Would my sweet cat look at me with less alarm? That would be phase two of the revolution brewing in me, perhaps.

So I’m on the hunt for what’s up about this perfect, driven, accomplishment thing. Human Doingness on steroids. Maybe it’s because I work for myself, at home, so I have less markers to point to to prove my accomplishments. No boss to tell me I did a great job. Just me. Still pondering.

However.

The Present thing is coming in like a wave. I’m beginning to understand that my Presence, which must clearly always have a capital ‘P’ unlike perfect, which clearly has not earned its capital, because it does not exist, is pulsing like an incoming tide at full moon. My Presence is my Power. Is my Peace. Is my winning ticket.

I’m exploring placing Presence in the spot where perfection was bossing everything around. Deep breath. Small smile. Grounded into the Earth. Appreciating the light on the roses near sunset, the cat rubbing my legs, the Purple Princess Mac computer glad to be sleeping, the tea kettle beckoning me to make some roiboos Happy Tea, the husband rustlings from his distant office, the a/c that just kicked on (first time for central air in 10 years – yeah!), the butterfly-free tummy because perfect doesn’t run me in this moment. You can tell by the run-on sentence and mixed everything, not just metaphors. Presence doesn’t follow rules, even grammar rules. It. Just. Is. Sufficient. Powerful. Pleasant.

Be perfect later. Be Present Now.


 

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